Captain Obvious, reporting for beauty

16 May

Hello again, boys and girls. Thought I’d drop by to give you a valuable beauty tip: although it’s been said, many times, many ways (most of them irritating and all of them cheesy): you really are prettier when you smile.

You see, Cap has been checking I-9s, and after going through a stack of approximately 8,469 driver’s license photos, I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the fugly. There’s an even greater correlation between the good and the smiling than there is between the good and the birthday (specifically, its proximity to the current year). Bonus: the effect is the same on both men and women. How many other truly unisex beauty secrets do you know?

CK1, put your hand down and go back to 1995.

That’s what I thought.

Smiles. Cheaper than lipstick, yet harder to come by.

You have this amazingly obvious and obviously amazing insight now, but let’s not get carried away. Janie considers herself fully dressed when she remembers to put on a bra, so zip it Annie.


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