LOLz for Mamas

27 Sep

You have to check out this awesome article at McSweeney’s Internet Tendency by Taylor Harris, I See Fit People. It was the Grand Prize Column Contest Winner this year, and for good reason. I wish I had written it, and actually I feel like I did write it…even though I wear shorts and enjoy cardio pole.

An excerpt:

At my four-week check up, I finally had to look my postpartum flab in the face, thanks to my OB:

HIM: You’re just going to feel my finger here. How much did you weigh today?

ME: [I told him the real number. I couldn’t lie because the nurse was still in the room.]

HIM: And how much did you weigh before you got pregnant?

ME: [Please make this stop. I’d rather have back-to-back pap smears with a chilled speculum.]

HIM: WHOOPSIES!

That word. A terrible word to say to an adult. I say “Whoopsies!” when Tophs lets one rip in his sleep—because it’s not his fault. I would love to pretend that gaining extra pregnancy weight is like sleep farting. Really it’s like throwing back whole rotisserie chickens and keeping a spit on your dashboard during rush hour.

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One Response to “LOLz for Mamas”

  1. GreedyFrog September 27, 2012 at 3:22 pm #

    Just read the column, I absolutely loved it, thanks for the link!

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