Fat Chance

23 Aug

There’s something you should know about me—I have abysmal luck.

I think it was all used up when, in first grade, I won an entire jar of candy corn by guessing the EXACT number of candies it contained. Mmmm…..candy corn……

After that day, Lady Luck broke up with me, perhaps to move on to other members of my family (in the last year alone, my dad won fancy speakers AND an iPad). I have won approximately nothing, including board games, that didn’t turn out to be either a joke or an advertisement. I say approximately, because I did win the world’s lamest prize this summer.

My local library held an adult summer reading book program. All you had to do was turn in a short book review to be put in a drawing. They had one every week and a big one at the end. You could turn in as many reviews as you wanted, so I turned in three at once. Lo and behold, that same week I got a call, saying I had won the weekly drawing!  So I head on down to the library right after work to pick up my prize, and they bring out………a mug with Honda Carland printed on it.


As part of our workplace Wellness Campaign, they’re giving away an iPad. All you have to do to enter the contest is complete an online health assessment. Somehow people are not getting the message though, because I was asked to compose a reminder email to all eligible employees. Evidently, only twelve people had done the assessment, out of about 200 who were eligible. For a split second, it flashed through my head to not send the email to like half of them. But then I smacked my forehead and said DOH! Because it doesn’t matter if there were only two people in the drawing—I would be the one who didn’t win. You think I’m exaggerating. I’m not. It’s like I’m the other side of a weighted coin or something.

But no need to pity me! My rotten luck only extends to games of chance and prizes, it seems. I have lost my wedding rings twice–and found them both times!

Tell me your funny foibles.


One Response to “Fat Chance”

  1. booksdefineme August 24, 2012 at 1:43 am #

    I so identify with what you’ve written. I remember so clearly the day I went to a party.I was maybe six years old and I won a red cooldrink for guessing the number seventeen, I must add that this was 60 years ago! I also won small change once in a supermarket scratch card competition.These experiences stand out as beacons in a life of non-winning. However I have found good fortune in a happy life! Money isn’t everything after all.

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