Captain Obvious, reporting for beauty

16 May

Hello again, boys and girls. Thought I’d drop by to give you a valuable beauty tip: although it’s been said, many times, many ways (most of them irritating and all of them cheesy): you really are prettier when you smile.

You see, Cap has been checking I-9s, and after going through a stack of approximately 8,469 driver’s license photos, I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the fugly. There’s an even greater correlation between the good and the smiling than there is between the good and the birthday (specifically, its proximity to the current year). Bonus: the effect is the same on both men and women. How many other truly unisex beauty secrets do you know?

CK1, put your hand down and go back to 1995.

That’s what I thought.

Smiles. Cheaper than lipstick, yet harder to come by.

You have this amazingly obvious and obviously amazing insight now, but let’s not get carried away. Janie considers herself fully dressed when she remembers to put on a bra, so zip it Annie.

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What I’m Reading: I-guess-I-have-to-actually-parent-now edition

8 May

Screamfree Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your CoolScreamfree Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool by Hal Edward Runkel

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

My kid isn’t even two yet, but he’s very precocious when it comes to misbehavior. When he started throwing tantrums at the ripe young age of 10 months (what’s next, cigarettes under his bed at 9?), I knew I needed to find a discipline strategy I could live with. For me, that meant no spanking or rule by force, but not letting him run the house either. I grabbed this book along with a stack of others at the local library, and let me tell you, I will be purchasing it to keep forever.

“Scream-free” is a catch-all phrase for reactionary behavior of any kind. Screaming, sure, but also running away, crying (hello, me), or any kind of response based in emotion. It’s a check-yourself-before-you-wreck-yourself kind of theory.

The root philosophy is that you can’t control any other person besides yourself, even a very small person. Nor would you want to, if you want that little person to grow up self-sufficient and responsible. Runkel clearly and simply explains strategies for taking a step back from bad behavior, turning everything into a learning experience for yourself first, so that your children can learn from you. He talks about being responsible TO your children instead of FOR your children, releasing you of the burden of micro-managing them (and releasing them of the burden of keeping you happy and calm).

Thankfully, it’s not a NO-discipline book: he advocates laying down basic expectations and boundaries, and enforcing or allowing natural consequences of not meeting those. But the child has their own age-appropriate freedom within wider limits that you set. There’s no training techniques reminiscent of housebreaking a dog, or comparing children to lab rats (both things I have actually read in other parenting books), and there’s no reverse psychology or any other mind-messing stuff.

One of the tenets of Scream-Free Parenting is sure to be point of contention: that children should have privacy. There is a strong vein of thought among modern parents that children living at home do not have a right to privacy of any kind, up to and including diaries and emails, due to safety concerns. While I do totally understand that point of view, and I do think keeping your child safe is your first job as a parent, I disagree that that is best accomplished by being all up in every aspect of their lives. Maybe it’s because my own parents allowed me age-appropriate privacy without my even asking, which filled me preteen soul with grateful relief. And while I’m sure I did and wrote some things that would they would worry about or disapprove of, I never got into serious trouble as a kid. Their trust made me want to be trustworthy. I compare it to punching in on a time clock at work. Studies have suggested that micromanaging a worker’s time makes that employee less loyal and more likely skirt the rules. In other words, empowering an individual results in better choices and self-motivation. I think the same applies to children.

All in all, the idea is to begin with the end in mind, which is something I latched on to even when I was preggers. The end, in this case, is the kind of adult your want your child to become. If you want your child to learn to play games (like one book I read that suggested when your kid misbehaves, deny them the next time they want something without explanation, and wait until they figure out the two are connected), then you trick or bribe him into behaving well. If you want your child to learn to take responsibility for his actions, you let consequences happen. (You got a speeding ticket? You have to use your savings to pay it instead of buying a new iThing).  Above all, you don’t let your child’s actions and feelings determine your own, or dictate the emotional climate of your home.

I do think this book is most helpful for parents of older children (like the above)–there’s not a lot that would be extremely useful for toddler-specific behavior problems. All the same, I’ve very glad I read it BEFORE my child is a teenager, so I’m prepared. Plus, since it’s a parenting philosophy and not a bag of tricks, it truly pertains to parents of all ages. In fact, it describes a way of relating to others that could be applied to anyone in your life, from friends to parents to spouses. Did I agree with every single thing he said? No. But you get the feeling reading it that you are more than capable of figuring out what works for you and chucking the rest. I truly am inspired to be a better parent after reading this book.

View all my reviews

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Looking for a fun date idea?

19 Apr

P and I just celebrated 2 x 2 years of wedded bliss, and this year, we were fresh out of ideas on how to celebrate.

Sounds awful, I know. But think: we’ve been together almost eight years, celebrating birthdays, holidays, and milestones; and we’ve lived in Atlanta that whole time. As much as we’d like to take a Caribbean weekend spree, it’s just not in the budget at the moment. Besides, I have a show.

When we got married, we had a very romantic, he-picks/she-picks layout planned for our anniversaries. The first anniversary was amazing. Things sort of fizzled from there.

Year one: dinner at a nice restaurant, live music and dancing at the venue where our wedding was held, an overnight stay in a luxury hotel and a tour of Chateau Elan Winery the next day.

Year two: A somewhat unsatisfying, theme-park-esque dinner at Dante’s Down the Hatch, followed by gorging on champagne cupcakes in lieu of actual champagne (I was seven months pregnant).

Year three: A well-intentioned but ill-fated jaunt about town on a rented Vespa–it was so windy that day that the entire moped blew over while we were trying to take a nostalgic photo at our wedding site.

So here’s a fact. The traditional gift of the 4th year of marriage is fruit and flowers. Not exactly inspired, for the year where things in a marriage are generally starting to get–let’s say, comfortable.  The “modern” gift is even worse–appliances. (Modern, my a**). We’d need to spin off a bit from that theme, unless we wanted to make smoothies for our celebratory dinner.

And that’s how we eventually found ourselves reserving our Wednesday anniversary date at a drink-and-paint studio.  And boy, are we glad we did!

Although I was the one who chose the place (there are several in the area), it was actually P’s idea. I never would have suggested it for fear it was too girly. I keep forgetting, even after four years, that I’m married to an artiste. I chose the place, Canvas by U,  based solely on the painting on the calendar for April 17: a colorful landscape, which I figured was sort of related to fruit. Right? It all grows out the ground.

Anyway. If you’ve never heard of this concept, it’s really pretty cool. An instructor walks you through painting a…well..painting step by step, while you sip and nibble on whatever you brought with you. It’s like college art class, only with booze and no grades. You don’t have to have any artistic talent or experience (praise the Lawd) to partake, and all the materials you need are provided with the class fee, right down the wine opener.

Maybe it was because it was a random Wednesday in April, but P and I were the only people who signed up for our class. I was worried they’d cancel for such a small showing, but they didn’t. WOOT. Private class! We’d be using a technique called palette knife, which was a really cool alternative to the more commonly taught brush painting. Even more exciting, our class was taught by the owner herself, filling in for a sick colleague. She was so cool. She let us break all kinds of protocol, and we chatted about music, art, cats, and life as we drained our bottle of cab and ambled through our landscapes.

DSC01729

The cost was extremely reasonable for everything you get to do–$25-$35 depending on the style. Canvas by U is one of the rare studios that does not ration the materials, which is really good for people like me who really just need a leeetle bit more burnt umber for their foliage. Canvas by U was actually the original Sips n’ Strokes, but  they underwent a rebranding a few years ago (Sips n’ Strokes still exists, but under new ownership–and a new ownership style, we’re told).

DSC01727It was totes grooves how all our paintings turned out completely different from each other’s and from the model.  Canvas By U doesn’t do Groupons, but if you like their Facebook page they’ll often post discounts on there, or if you’re on their mailing list (sign up at the website).

I highly recommend this as a fresh date night activity, for those of you who have SOs without security issues. But even if there are some issues, there’s wine. I won’t say I’m any better at art than before I walked in the door, but I had a blast. And anyway, as they say, it’s about the process, not the product!

MASTERPIECES, DUH

MASTERPIECES, DUH

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Easy Slow Cooker Recipe #3 – Creamy Chicken

18 Apr

Recipe:

Put bag of frozen chicken breasts (3 lb) in the crock pot.
Put 8 oz block cream cheese on top of the chicken (NOT nonfat).
Dump in one can black or pinto Beans, drained & rinsed
Dump in 1 can drained corn.
Dump in 1 can Rotel

Cook on low for 6-8 hours, Shred chicken, let sit for 30-45 minutes.

My adaptations:

I used black beans, and I did not drain and rinse them. I think the bean juice (ew?) adds a little extra flavor.  Also, it eliminates the need for added table salt. I also cut the cream cheese into chunks, the better to space it more evenly over the chicken.

Level of Ease:

1

Level of Tastiness:

4

Kitchen Notes:

This recipe was the Pin that started it all–now this is what I’m talking about when I say easy; the entire recipe was right in the description! However, it wasn’t until a few weeks into my meal planning frenzy that the stars aligned to have all the  ingredients in the house at once. It was lucky that I managed to get it together to make it that morning, because on the way home from work my dad called to say he’d be dropping by (I know that if there’s anybody you can get away with not impressing, it’s your parents, but I always like to have something to offer anyway. Knowwhatimean?). Dad and I ate ours over brown rice, while P ate his as a burrito (he’s of the school of thought that there’s very little a tortilla can’t improve). I only have one caveat with this meal: the Rotel made it a touch too spicy for T. If you’re cooking for kiddos, I recommend using the mild version, mild salsa, or maybe just diced tomatoes and omit the peppers altogether. But overall, it was extremely delicious–although it must be said, not that pretty to look at.

Maybe P is onto something, hiding it in a tortilla. (source)

P.S. Have you heard about how it’s unsafe to eat tomato products from a can? Something about BPA and fruit acid? I use plenty o’ canned tomato products in my cooking, so it’s something to think about. Lay it on me, are YOU worried about this issue?

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The Performer’s Medical Dictionary

11 Apr

Doubtless, you have heard the adage that one must suffer for his art. But not until now did you know just how much. In honor of the opening weekend of my show, I’m presenting this brief glossary of pain and injuries particular to the theatrically inclined.

Acute Bonkititus – Any injury resulting from hitting or being hit by something, including but not limited to set pieces, flying costumes, and fellow actors.

Backne (backstage acne) – Breakouts, common during closing week, caused by successive weeks of cake makeup soaking in to the pores. See red rim.

Character blisters – open welts or sores caused by dancing or costume shoes that are new, not the correct size, or are not properly closed; so named because they give you character, or at least something to complain about which amounts to the same thing.

Express Manicure – tearing, chipping, or loosing a nail, usually below the quick, during any production-related exertion.

Green Gall – difficult to cure due to its nearly unlimited sources, G.G. is a spark of envy for a castmate’s possession or circumstances. Possible causes include: hair that curls/straightens easier, the “fun” line, a better costume, or of course, the best solo.

Lift Bruise – spots of painful discoloration on the torso, often on or about the hips, as a direct result of practicing dance lifts repetitively.

Mic Tape Rash – raw, red patches, usually located on the face about the hairline, resulting from the hurried removal of microphone tape or wig glue.

Mystery Ache – Often first noticed while sleeping, a muscle or muscle group that hurts when moved. The origin of the pain is generally not discovered until the move is repeated in rehearsal, hence the name.

Out-of-body Odor – a funk originating from garments, shoes, or hairpieces that have gone unwashed for several weekends, usually because their fragility makes cleaning them regularly cost-prohibitive, or because the wearer is too afraid of forgetting to bring them back to take them to be washed.

Owl Bags – a condition resulting from staying up and out later at night than is accustomed, characterized by red eyes, purple bags, sallow skin, and parched mouth. May also be accompanied by slow thinking and a zombie-esque shuffle.

Pin Poke –  a sharp prick wound as a result of wearing costumes that are in various states of completion and/or held together with pins. May also occur during quick changes.

Red Rim – a red or bright pink line, sometimes tender or painful, around the eye brought on by the nightly application and removal of eye makeup, especially false eyelashes. Redness occasionally extends into the eye itself, often causing it to be mistaken for Owl Bags.

Shirker Syndrome – reduced productivity during the day at work or school, as a result of depleted energy stores. Increases with proximity to opening night, usually culminating on Wednesday of tech week.

P.S. Come see Jekyll & Hyde if you’re in the Atlanta area! You won’t be sorry!

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Easy Slow Cooker Recipe #2: Pork Tacos

9 Apr

Recipe:

1 pork loin

1 cup of salsa

½  cup of brown sugar

Cook on high 4-5 hours, shred. Serve on taco or tortilla shells with your choice of toppings.

My adaptations:

I made this recipe once before, and based on that experience, I decided to cut the brown sugar. Sweet tacos? I don’t know, to me it was weird. I also didn’t bother measuring the salsa—I just dumped in an entire container of the Kroger fresh salsa (found near the cheese), which we love and eat all the time. But the biggest change was unintentional: P brought home pork loin chops instead of a pork loin. But since I like to award A’s for effort (and I didn’t have the time), I decided to make due rather than exchange them.  Big mistake.

Level of Ease:

1

Level of tastiness:

5 / 1

(explanation of scoring here)

Kitchen Notes:

I go straight from the first recipe I tried to the latest—this was dinner last Saturday night. Right now you’re thinking, 5 and 1? What in the world? And I am saying to you that what followed the making of this dinner was the biggest drama since the lasagna pie fiasco of 2012. As indicated, this was brain-numbingly easy. I threw the whole thing into the big slow cooker because the smaller one is currently housing leftover Easter candy. I set it and forgot it. I took T to the park and when we returned for dinnertime, the house smelled wonderful. I gave the pot a little stir and removed the bones (you’ll remember this was chops). I’ve made a few successful slow cooker recipes with bone-in meat before, and this was even better than most. The bones fell right off clean as a whistle, the meat was so tender. Awesome!

We put it in tortilla shells with shredded cheddar and it was delicious; even Baby T who is currently enjoying a picky phase was chowing down. All of a sudden, P freezes mid-bite. Then he emits this loud, caveman-like, guttural shout and runs to the trash can and starts heaving and gagging. “OHMYGOD, WHAT’S WRONG?!?!” I screeched, frantically turning this way and that trying to remember where I left my phone, since it was clear I needed to be dialing 9-1-1. (T meanwhile, is still sitting in the chair, with a look on his face that could only be translated as, ah yes, another day at the Young household). “It’s a BONE! IT STABBED ME IN THE MOUTH!” P shouted, from his crouch on the kitchen floor. I opened his tacos and fingered through the meat (this was no time to be not-gross), and sure enough, I found one or two more small, but not microscopic, bone slivers hidden among the shreds. I’ll spare you the details of the ensuing argument; I believe it’s commonly referred to as The Blame Game. Even though a thorough inspection revealed T’s half-eaten taco to be clean, as was mine, we decided it was really a nice night for a dinner of frozen yogurt.

So that’s how we ended up at SwirlyTwirl eating chocolate-almond-gummy bear yogurt twenty minutes before bedtime, and this recipe gets a 5 / 1.

I definitely recommend this recipe, with my adaptations, and the small but very significant recommendation that you use BONELESS meat.

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Beauty Myths Busted

8 Apr

And now, back to your regularly scheduled superficiality. (You know, it’s really funny….I actually spend quite a bit of the day thinking serious, deep thoughts…but I rarely feel like talking or writing about them. This was recently brought to my stark attention when my dad commented that I’m very practical–not philosophical and thoughtful like my brother is. Wow! Never, ever thought of myself as practical before. It really goes to show the disparity between the way you come across to others and how you perceive yourself is gaping, especially if you are an introvert). 

Anyway, this actually is important. Sit down.

Someone’s been spreading lies again. There’s something about spring that makes everyone feel the need to re-beautify: perhaps it’s swimsuit season looming, or maybe we’re all just twitterpated. Whatever the reason (or the season’s trend), these perennial myths crop up every year like a bunch onion grass. Let’s root them out once and for all.

Men love a red lip

In an unofficial and unscientific survey, I discovered that it’s women, not men, who are attracted to bright lips. Dudes do like a little color on the smackers, but wearing anything “too bright is too much” in the eloquent words of my own dude. No guy wants to look like he was just attacked by the kissing wenches at the Renaissance Festival (unless he’s actually at the Renaissance Festival).

Cute and terrifying at the same time. source

Horizontal stripes make you look fat

Depends on how thick and where they are, but the vast majority of horizontally stripped garments are actually flattering (nautical stripes are my particular fave). And contrary to what the fashion mags want you to think, you do not need any instructions on “how to wear” them. (check out this stunner!). The most precarious place to wear stripes is the hips (on the other hand, if you could use some help in that area, go for it).

Do these stripes make my butt look big?

Do these stripes make my butt look big?

In related news, vertical stripes are still slimming, but let’s all agree to set a limit. I saw an outfit in this month’s Marie Claire that would only have been cute on a backup dancer in the video for a hip-hop cover of Jailhouse Rock.

Redheads can’t wear red (or pink, or coral)

I think Miss Jessica Chastain at the SAG awards this year finally busted this one once and for all with the pointy heel of her Charlotte Olympia pumps  (if Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge didn’t already do the job)—and that was right after JC got panned for wearing aqua to the Golden Globes, a color redheads are “supposed” to wear. And yes, this applies to red lipstick too, although…see item #1.

I’m basically pretending to be her for my role in Jekyll & Hyde. source

I mean, we're basically twins, right? LOL

I mean, we’re pretty much twins, right? LOL

No white (shoes or otherwise) from Labor Day to Memorial Day

I’ll be sitting here thinking that this one has finally begun to sink in, but then I head to the stores and everything’s gray, brown, and mustard. I think the problem is not that white doesn’t go with cooler temperatures, but that white isn’t associated with heavier fabrics.  White cotton and linen is classic, but let’s think outside the box, retailers. And no, faux fur is not the only way to wear white in the winter. I personally love the look of white denim year round.

orginally pinned by Blair Eadie // Atlantic Pacific

orginally pinned by Blair Eadie // Atlantic Pacific

Wash your hair every day

Even hairdressers agree—unless you have a super oily scalp, daily washing will really dry your hair and skin, not to mention the hot water you’re probably using to do it. And if your hair color has even a little – ahem – enhancement, it will strip out much faster. So at least every other morning, stick to the military-style shower: ‘pits and privates. (Lazy folks: rejoice!)

Shave only in one direction

Speaking of ‘pits and privates…not to get too graphic here, but hair grows willy-nilly almost everywhere on your body (excluding the legs below the knees for whatever reason). So if you want a really clean shave, you can’t just shave up. I bet many ladies and gents have figured this out on their own, but some people may still be holding out out of fear of ingrown hairs. Actually, shaving the same spot over and over is what increases the chance of ingrowns, which probably what you’ll end up doing if you stick to the same direction.

Slimming body wrap – no such thing

I saw a Groupon for these this week, and like 75 poor suckers souls had bought it. All these things do is suck the water out of your cells—temporarily. Basically just long enough to get you addicted to the short term results so you’ll buy the subscription package. The only people I’ve heard of who have seen lasting results are people on diet and exercise regimes, and—just a wager here—that might be more due to the diet and exercise. Having to fit into a tiny dress tomorrow might be the only exception, but I was pretty desperate and even I didn’t do that.

What beauty myths would you like to expose?

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